Why does it seem like the people I know are fond of writing maniacal love stories? Maybe it is some sort of contagious ill-fated disease, like malaria? Nah, so I decide to dedicate this story to Polar and Donkey... (Anagrams have been used in this story for the keepsake of privacy.)Once upon a million years of time, way before the Stone Age, there lived two adolescent boys named Bunco Grew and Yarn Pert. They were good buddies, according to the Encyclopedia. And also at that time, it was so waaay back in time that the female species haven existed yet. That's right, they did everything together from going to the same school (God knows got what schools existed before the Stone Age so let's just call it School X) to watching television together.
They were both brainy students in school. Bunco Grew was hardworking while on the other hand, Yarn Pert was a lazy scum, a procrastinator. They were also good friends with Sewage Loud and Sawn Jog On. Bunco Grew and Yarn Pert both joined the Historical Scouts Troop along with the other two of their good friends too. After four years in the troop, Bunco Grew was made a Troop Leader aka the biggest head, he was in charge of leading the rest of the troop to hunt for saber tooths and mammoths. Yarn Pert's face became well-known in School X because the school decided to promote his face (male model) on their big, big banner.
One day, Bunco Grew realized that he had feelings for Yarn Pert. Everyday, Bunco Grew would sit in front of the banner and stare dreamily at Yarn Pert's face. That was the act of a man in love. However, Bunco Grew's heart was shattered into trillion pieces when he heard rumors that Yarn Pert had a crush on Sewage Loud, a boy in their class (PS: I know this is very disturbing but bear with the gayness of the story, ain't my fault the real life characters are all guys). Bunco Grew vented his feelings by blogging (they used iron wires back in those days for Internet). He wrote fictional love stories inspired by the real life love scandal between Sewage Loud, Yarn Pert, Sawn Jog On and himself. Very mushy and disturbing stories too. His blog address is www.lifebriefscandle.blogspot.com .
Many months later, Bunco Grew couldn't take the pain of seeing Yarn Pert all mushy with Sewage Loud. So, he planned and plotted his moves to confess to Yarn Pert. He even made a blueprint. The next morning in school, Bunco Grew went up to Yarn Pert, his heart beating 900 times per minute. He was nervous about confessing his love for Yarn Pert.
"H...Ho...How... How...How would ... you... erm... uh...*wipes forehead*... like to be my 'girlfriend'?" Bunco Grew stammered nervously, waiting for a response from Yarn Pert.
"Gah, you pulling my leg is it?" Yarn Pert asked.
Deep down he actually had feelings for Bunco Grew. But, he thought Bunco Grew was out of his league, so he went to chase after Sewage Loud instead. When Bunco Grew confessed, Yarn Pert was actually so happy that he farted. Because he farted, Bunco Grew fainted. Back before the Stone Age, smelling salts were not invented yet so... Yarn Pert had to wait for four days until Bunco Grew woke up from his state of unconciousness to confront him.
"You really mean what you said that day?" Yarn Pert asked happily.
"Yes, of course. I love you so, so, so much," Bunco Grew replied.
[My Heart Will Go On sang by Celine Dion begins to play in the background, so roomaaantic]
"Aww, I love you too!"
So, Yarn Pert and Bunco Grew were all mushy and happy in each others' arms. (I don't know which one's the 'girl' and 'boy' in their gender confused relationship.) They dated, got married and lived happily to a ripe old age and had fifty grandchildren. Meanwhile, Sewage Loud and Sawn Jog On coupled up and yada yada yada as well. It was a happy ending for all.
THE END.
(This story is purely fictional and only those who are familiar with the 'inside' story would understand it. This story was inspired by the existence of Gnowecurb, Natyrrep, Gnownosaj and Eewsalguod.)
PS: The donkey posted Part One of his counter attack against Polar at www.malaysiandonkey.blogspot.com.